November 25, 2011 | By:

Black Friday

What I Need to Know About Black Friday, I Learned From Watching Zombieland by Emily Siden

For those of you have not seen Zombieland, I will give you a brief synopsis or you can read about it to your hearts content here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombieland). It’s a comedy film in which basically, the world is being infected with cannibal zombies and a small group of survivors fight a daily battle to stay alive on their journey by following a set of rules they make up.

With Black Friday here and so many “survival” guides and tips being advertised, I couldn’t help but think of “The Rules” from this movie. So I’ve decided to take a few of them and draw a parallel to compose yet another “Black Friday Guide.” Enjoy.

The Rules:

1. Cardio – Obviously, it’s important to be in shape to get the upper hand on all the other shoppers. If you’re fast, you’re first.

2. Double Tap – Or basically double-check your list. Like Santa checks his list twice…learn from the best.

3. Beware of Bathrooms – Plain and simple…there are no sales here and you can’t buy anything in them.

4. Travel Light – Make frequent runs to your vehicle to drop off a load of merchandise. That way you can still be fast (again, this is why Rule #1 is important).

5. Don’t Be a Hero – Don’t sacrifice yourself trying to get the last popular video game in stock. If you can’t get it, just blame it on Santa and BAM – you’re still a hero, at least in your kid’s eyes.

6. Limber Up – Agility is just as important as cardio. Pulling a muscle or spraining something could put an end to your Black Friday marathon.

7. The Buddy System – Utilize friends and family members- better yet, bring the pet pack mule along- oh the possibilities!

8. Check the Backseat – For more room to cram things of course, what else?!

9. When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out – Pretty self-explanatory. Having a smartphone and GPS helps…not to mention a compass…or following an exit sign (yes they’re red and shiny, no you cannot take them to add to your Christmas light display).

10. Clean Socks – When the ordeal is over, after all the blood, sweat and tears you’ve secreted and/or been drenched with, you’re going to want to change your socks…duh.

P.S. Support the second annual Small Business Saturday on the 26th! http://smallbusinesssaturday.com

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