November 22, 2011 | By:

Top Ten Reasons Not To Use Social Media…Ever

We love social media here at Ilfusion. Not just social media marketing, either: everyone here tweets, shares cat videos on Facebook, and checks in to a bajillion places whenever we all go out to lunch. (We officially apologize to all patient waiters in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.)

But…let’s face it. Twitter, Facebook, Google+, they’re not for everyone, right? Here are the only ten reasons we can think of to stay away from social media:

10. You don’t have enough time to type 140 letters because your work shifts are actually 26 hours per day.
You’re too busy inventing a time machine to get your regular work hours done to even consider hiring someone to handle it for you.

9. Search engines are your sworn enemy.
Frequent, relevant updates are sustenance to search engines like Google. If you want to kill them, you must starve them.

8. You absolutely despise every single one of your customers (and you’re pretty sure they hate you too).
No one likes “trolls” and you would attract more of them than the world’s largest bridge. And interacting with them would only make things worse.

7. Your goal is to create a product that no one buys. (The Producers is such a great movie!)
You should give us a call. We’re very curious about your business model.

6. Your keyboard is missing the letters “F,” “B,” “T,” “W,” and “G.”
In all fairness, that would be pretty frustrating. Put a keyboard on your holiday wish list.

5. You’re worried about your privacy…because you work in a criminal enterprise.
If your great-great-aunt-by-marriage-once-removed can find pics from your last “meeting,” why couldn’t the cops?

4. You can’t afford it.
All those free accounts add up!

3. Everyone else is already using it, so it’s not cool anymore.
But how else can you tell the world how un-cool old things are, and share what’s not too cool yet?!

2. You’re allergic to fun.
You know, it might be worth it to invest in an EpiPen…on a daily basis.

1. You are, in fact, violently anti-social. You’re only on the Internet to order groceries and movies.
How did you even get here?

Tags: , , , , ,

Categorized in: ,

Featured Articles

February 1, 2018 | By: Ilfusion Team

How To Start an SEO Campaign in 6 Steps

Starting a Search Engine Optimization (SEO) campaign can be tricky for any digital marketer. How do you begin? What is the most important element to implement? How do you know if it’s working? Don’t be overwhelmed, though. Starting an SEO... view more

September 26, 2017 | By: Tinny

5 Signs You Need to Hire a Marketing Agency

Marketing is a crucial part of your business strategy. It’s what keeps the gears turning and the driving force of your company’s sales. For small businesses, marketing is important in getting the word out there that your company exists and... view more

September 21, 2017 | By: Tinny

Key Advantages of Video Marketing for Your Growing Business

There has been a rise in the use of mobile devices to access the internet, and there are no signs of it slowing down anytime soon. In this era where most people thrive on living on the go, video marketing... view more

September 13, 2017 | By: Tinny

5 Things You Need to Know: Image Optimization for SEO

If you’re a company whose content strategy relies on images, or if your business blog is image-heavy, it’s high time for you to think about optimizing your images for SEO — if you haven’t done so already. While there isn’t... view more

August 2, 2017 | By: Tinny

Tips on How to Choose the Best Keywords for Your Website

Not sure on what keywords to use? Read more on how to search for the best keywords for your webpage. When you have an SEO or PPC campaign, it all starts with one basic element: keyword research. Keywords are the... view more

July 26, 2017 | By: Tinny

Top 3 Search Ranking Factors You Should Know About

Read more on what it takes to improve your search engine ranking. Landing on the first page of Google’s search engine results is one of the ultimate marketing goals of many website owners. While Google is keeping mum on what... view more

June 28, 2017 | By: Tinny

The Importance of Social Media in SEO

Here’s why you need social media for your SEO. Nowadays, social media has inarguably become an indispensable tool in any marketing strategy. SEO, of course, is also one of those tools that have evolved with the many trends and changes... view more

April 27, 2017 | By: Tinny

5 Ways to Dominate Google’s Search Results in 2017

Here’s how to place your website at the top of search engine results. Creating a website that doesn’t rank well in Google’s search engine results page (SERP) doesn’t translate well to your overall business effort. In recent years, Google has... view more

July 2, 2015 | By: The Conductor

Let’s talk about “The Fold”

We hear it a lot; client feedback that is focused on what content is and is not “above the fold”. To be perfectly honest, this old newspaper term can be a cause of frustration when it comes to good user... view more

June 3, 2015 | By: The Doctor

The Turbit

This crazy ol’ world of ours is spinning faster and faster everyday. Not literally, as we would all be slung to our spacey-doom. I mean figuratively we are all moving more quickly and filling every moment with some bit of... view more

May 6, 2015 | By: Ilfusion Team

How Your Website Can Survive Mobilegeddon

Think your website is mobile friendly? Think again. Google’s new functionality changes have created a frantic need for websites to be optimized for mobile. Mobilegeddon is upon us, and your website could be at risk. See infographic below.

April 23, 2015 | By: El Jefe

Website Cost: A Day at the Ballpark

A question that I get on a regular basis (read: every day) is, “How much will my new website cost?”. To which I typically say something like, “Well, that varies based on the amount of work that’s required to complete... view more

April 7, 2015 | By: The Inventor

Are you a Webspammer?

SEO practices are very different today than how they were even just a few years ago. The number one key to ranking well in search engines today is to create unique quality content. First post it on your website or... view more

March 25, 2015 | By: Ilfusion Team

Social Media Happenings

Ilfusion loves to bring you news on the newest social media functions and trends. Recently, there have been three major happenings in the social media world. Meerkat, a new app that has risen to fame due to the 2015 music... view more

March 12, 2015 | By: The Conductor

The Big Picture

Whether you’re laser-focused on a specific project, or taking a comprehensive approach to your marketing efforts, one aspect doesn’t change: always look at the big picture. Companies often shop at least a few agencies when they’re considering engagement with an... view more